I had a funeral for those dreams
I buried them
Now I am giving life to new ones...
My son was diagnosed with Autism on October 6th of 2011. I felt like every single plan I had for my son had been railroaded and shattered into a billion pieces that could never be put back together again. I sulked and ask God why our son, I also told myself on numerous occasions that I can't deal with him. Just recently, after reading "Autism by Hand", (which can be found on Amazon) I received my wake up call and the slap in the face I needed. I have learned to accept the fact that my son has Autism and there is nothing that I can do to change that. Even though sometimes I think if I could sell my soul to the devil to make him be "normal" I would. Realistically, that is not going to happen and my son is the way he is. I can ask all the questions I want, feel sorry for myself and my son, or I can help him become the best person he can be. After being catapulted into this world of meltdowns and IEP's, I have learned that a lot of parents believe and will always believe because there child is special needs that they are entitled to everything and anything. WRONG your child isn't better than the next child, yes, your child may need more help but that doesn't mean you can disregard every other child on this planet. I also make it a point to never set the bar to low for my son, my husband and I do realize there are things that he currently can't do but that doesn't mean that he won't ever be able to do them. Yes, we also realize there is that possibility that there are things that he may never be able to do but how would we know if we never tried.
I am not a perfect mother and some days my son makes me feel like I am the most terrible creature on this planet. But you know what? I love him unconditionally and he loves me unconditionally and I am so thankful for that. Every day won't be easy and some days will be complete dreams, but we are going on this journey together as a family. After the diagnosis I did feel like my son wasn't going to amount to anything because people make Autism sound like a death sentence. It isn't a death sentence, although some days it may seem like it. The dreams and plan you had for your child may have been shattered with the diagnosis but create new ones. Don't let the diagnosis hold back on your child having an amazing life. My son is an amazing child and I have been able to accept today and not think about tomorrow or a year from now. Right now is what matters most.
Until next time. Much Love.
